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Boys vs. Girls

It recently came to my attention that a San Diego area high school has somewhat of a “tradition” of having a pep rally/assembly in which the overall theme is “boys vs. girls.”   I guess they have games/competitions in which the boys compete against the girls.   Apparently the specific theme changes every year, but this year it was initially labelled:

SUPERHEROES VS. FAIRY PRINCESSES

Merely typing that made my blood pressure rise.   This is 2015, correct?

So, let me count the ways in which this “tradition” is both shameful and completely out of touch with the importance of facilitating cooperation and understanding between the genders; especially in a child’s formative years and the ever-so-important high school time period.    And, this high school, and I’m speaking especially to the administration, needs to take a hard look at just what message is being sent here.

First, let me just address the specific issue of the “Superheroes vs. Fairy Princesses” theme.   I do understand that this theme has now been officially dropped.    However, it wasn’t because some wise and forward thinking administrator, teacher or other adult thought better of it; it was because a group of brave and strong willed students came forward and protested the obviously sexist and overall stupidity of this idea.   I understand that it took a letter to administration to “explain” why this theme was inappropriate.    Really?

I don’t even understand how this “theme” got accepted in the first place.   I do understand that it was chosen by a group of students.  I get that.   HOWEVER, where was the adult supervision of the meeting at which this decision took place?  Where were the adults when it was announced that this theme was happening?  Where were the adults when the theme was being read over the daily bulletin?  Where were the adults when the posters were being made to publicize the assembly?  At NO TIME did any adult think “Gee, this may not be sending the right message”?

Making the theme “Superheroes vs. Fairy Princesses” brings into play seriously offensive gender stereotypes that many have taken YEARS to fight against.   The boys are the superheroes, of course.   Strong, tough, fighters, saving the weak, etc.    By making the boys the superheroes, this obviously means that girls are excluded from being a superhero.   Now, although we all know there have been a few girl/woman comic book superheroes, we also know that, in comparison by numbers, the female gender falls way behind in that category.    The issue is being constantly raised to DC and Marvel….whom have both acknowledged a problem exists.   See http://screenrant.com/joss-whedon-female-superhero-movie-sexism/     and   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/03/rowan-dc-comics-letter-david-perry_n_6604732.html

In response to the critique on Marvel, Joss Whedon simply calls it what it is:  sexism.   Yep.    Any by allowing this theme to play out in a high school assembly is just that:  sexist.

Not to mention the second part of the equation: the girls are the Fairy Princesses, of course.    Here we go again with the incredibly offensive gender stereotypes:  princesses…. fairy tale beauties whose (typically) goal in life is to be swept away, to be taken care of and live happily ever after with her Prince Charming.   Despite the ever lasting and somewhat sickening influence of Disney, haven’t we moved past this?  Obviously not.   The fact that a group of high school students would pick superheroes and fairy princesses to be the corresponding identity to a boy and girl proves otherwise.

So, while I am grateful that this specific “theme” was dropped, this high school is still proceeding with its “boys vs. girls” assembly, pitting high school boys against high school girls in some likely silly and embarrassing “competitions.”  So what message DOES this send?

It sends the message that boys and girls are different, are separate, that somehow one should be better than the other.   The goal is to win, right?   To do so means to assert dominance over the other; to do better, to work harder with “your kind” in order to defeat the “other kind.”   And what about the outcome?   If the boys win, will this be accepted because of the stereotype that boys are just better competitors?  Or because they are stronger?  If the girls win, will this be accepted at all without some excuse as to “why” they won?   Will we hear the all-to-frequent “man, I can’t lose to a girl” or “Dude, you lost to a girl?”   Think about the subtext of those comments.    It can only be wholly unacceptable to lose to a girl if the underlying premise is that girls are inherently inferior.

Is this the message we want to teach our children?   Is this the type of environment that we want to encourage in our schools?   Why can’t we instead reinforce the idea that boys and girls are all equals?   We should be preparing them for real life, where in the real world males and females grow up to work along side each other, work together to solve problems, live together, rely on each other.

Let’s finally do away with the archaic gender divisions, shall we?   There is no place for it and certainly not in a place where we send our children to become educated, productive members of society.

***As a final note, I understand that the students who originally protested the Superhero vs. Fairy Princesses theme have taken some serious heat from other students who apparently felt that these students “ruined their fun” or “spoiled tradition” or had some other lame reason.    To those students who stood up:  I salute and respect you.    Stand up for what’s right and for what you believe in.

Teachers, Administrators/Parents:   This is a teaching moment.   Don’t shy away.  Explore these issues with the students/your children.    Stereotypes, sexism, hate are learned.      Don’t teach or allow others to teach your children these traits.   Make this world a better place.   Set an example.